I’m a new dad. I would also consider myself a new husband. The time that’s passed is not important to my self-classification. I’m new because I still haven’t gotten the hang of either. Both have been a continuous balancing act.
Most of this stems from my years of being single and having nobody to worry about. While single I would read my Bible, a lot. I read all kinds of books from extremely smart, Christian men and I tried to pack in as much as I could. I liked to help others. Actually I loved to help others. Looking back on it from my current perspective, I very well might have had a hero complex.
Then I got married. No big deal, right? Just keep on doing what I’ve been doing and add the wife in there…
Now before you think too highly of me. I was not smart enough to figure out that I was doing this whole marriage thing wrong until much later. See, for me it was pretty simple, get married and she would tag along with everything I had going already. But that was not the case. Sure, I heard people all the time saying, “As the husband you are responsible for the spiritual growth of your family.” It was not as though I didn’t know this. I just didn’t know how to apply that. Beyond that, I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t being the spiritual leader of my house. I was just doing things the same way I always had.
I had it wrong. Now, I still don’t have it all worked out. So over the next few weeks, months, and maybe years I hope to dig into God’s Word, discover what He said about being a godly husband and father, and maybe find some good practices I can share with you. It's better late than never.
Step 1: Accept The Role.
“For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”
Husband: Be the head of your house. We can’t be passive and give our job and responsibility away because it would easier or for any other reason. It’s ours. And, don’t read this verse to go show your wife that the Bible says, “I’m the boss.” Instead, do a self check-up. Ask yourself this question, “am I leading like Christ?”
1 Timothy 3:4-5
“He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?”
Father: If we can’t manage our own house, why would we attempt to manage anybody else’s? Before we look to expand our influence into other people’s lives, we MUST expand our influence over our family, and take the calling seriously.
Growing up, my parents never allowed my sister or me to use the phrase, “I swear…” and in obedience to them, I did not say it throughout my childhood. In high school, it became much more common to hear people say this to add emphasis to what they were telling, and I joined in. In an effort to get my point across, it seemed okay to do.
Today this phrase is used all the time, and most people don’t give the words a second thought. I even hear teenagers take the phrase to the next level by saying, “On God.” This new variance gets deep under my skin.
However, I read Matthew 5:33-37, and this is exactly what Jesus is teaching against. Can you imagine how much these words anger the God of the Universe, if they bother me so much?
The thing most people miss is their complete lack of control.
We make statements, promises, and oaths, but in reality we don’t have the ability to guarantee these any of these things will actually happen. Even the most basic thing you can think of, like being on time for work tomorrow. Can you swear to your boss you will be on time? Sure. Can you guarantee that it will happen? Not even close. All it would take is one little piece of metal to stick in your tire, a wreck to shut the road down, and the list goes on and on of things we cannot control.
With the knowledge that we have zero power or ability to make these things happen, would it not be wise to lay off making promises and oaths? Not to mention the real question of why our reputation would demand a so strong an affirmation of what we say. If people are requesting you to make the statement under oath, they apparently do not have much confidence in your words.
Because we have no control, we put our reputation in danger every time we make an oath. Jesus tells us very plainly, “Let what you say be simply ‘yes’ or ‘no.’” I would find it very hard to believe that most of us would take an oath, knowing we have no control of the outcome. Yet, with every promise, oath, or swear we do just that. Jesus made this very easy for a believer to maintain integrity in his words, by avoiding oaths altogether.
Doing this is not only a way to safeguard your reputation, but also a way to acknowledge His power and authority over your life. This is a very simple form of witnessing in a world full of carefully worded contracts and precise agreements.
This is one time when a one-word answer is the best answer.
If you are at all familiar with Job2ten, you know most posts are explaining or thinking about a certain section of scripture.
That is about to change, along with a few other things.
Since I first began writing on Job2ten a lot has changed. I'm older, for one. Two, I definitely care more about people now as opposed to before. I have gotten married during this time, which is a really big one. Watching my new wife has taught me many things. She loves Jesus, me, and reading. She has proof read much of my work. When I get too impatient and post and without allowing her proof read them, the results are rough to say the least.
I believe she will be a great writer, which is why we have decided to make Job2ten into our ministry, not just mine. She will begin contributing to this blog. Especially since she does so much work on here already. I want her to be my partner in every area of my ministry, working as together to advance the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Please welcome, my wife, BS, to Job2ten. I'm lucky and grateful to have you in my life.
For starters: I am nothing special, I love Jesus and He is my Lord. I am the husband of a godly woman. She is working with me to raise a godly child. I am a teacher. I love to read and write.