Job2ten Blog

2 reasons why loving my wife matters

3/11/2018

Ephesians 5:25 ~ "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"

Before I begin, this a part 2 of sorts from my previous post, so if you haven't read it yet click here and read it first. You'll want to know the context of this before you dive into this one.

Hopefully, you're not looking for reasons WHY you should love your wife, because that is not what I'll be covering in this post. In this post I want to provide a couple of real life scenarios where loving your wife with a sacrificial love actually matters (Beyond the obvious way it matters to your wife!). If you are needing to be convinced that you should actually love your wife sacrificially, I would suggest reading through the gospels to get a better understanding.

Ephesians 5:28 ~"In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."

1. your friends will notice

We have all witnessed a relationship that was extremely one-sided. Maybe you've even been in one of those relationships. But, relationships are not meant to be that way. Relationships are meant to be 2 people who are working to make themselves second and the other first. That's ideal. But, so many people (including me) are self-focused and want things done their way and it plagues our relationships.

If 2 people are both self-focused, their relationship will always have problems, because each of them are focused on what they want. When the focus is what "I want" and both people feel this way, there are few times that any given situation will allow for both of them to be "happy." Not to say it will never happen, there will be times when both are extremely happy. However, there will be more times of conflict between the 2, because each of them will feel as though the other is "getting more."

Side note here: Some of the best advice I was given before my wedding was, "expect to give 60% or more and expect to receive 40% or less."

If one person is self-focused and the other is giving sacrificial love, that relationship will be very one sided. This can be an extremely useful situation, especially for witnessing to others, or if the "self-focused" spouse is lost, but it will be a strenuous test of the partner who is giving sacrificial love. You could very well argue that they have more of an opportunity to be like Jesus, because their sacrifice is not reciprocated by their bride.

BUT, if both are loving the other sacrificially, just think of all the tiny "wrongs" that will be overlooked. It is a relationship of two people who are in a sense trying to out-do the other by giving more to them than they receive. This is not meant to be corrupted into a "I can do one better" and keeping score, but it is a pure desire to forget yourself in order to give the other more.

The friends you and your wife spend time with will see this dance play out before their eyes. And, they need to see you, the husband, as a living, loving sacrifice toward your wife. NOT just one time, but over and over again. Why? It's not because you want your friends to envy your marriage or pat you on the back. You need to show them Jesus in every area of your life, not just at church or Bible study, but everywhere, especially in your marriage.

2. Your Children will notice

As a father this can be one of the first and best ways to explain Jesus's love to your children. Reading stories to them of a man from a far away place and a far away time in one thing, but how can you prove to them that the stories are REAL to YOU?

The answer is simple, though not easy, LIVE IT. I'm convinced that, although the are plenty of other ways, there aren't many better ways to witness to your own children than by providing an example of loving sacrifice living in their home right beside them.

The bottom line is this, your marriage needs to be as clear of a reflection of Jesus's love for us as you can make it. Doing so will of course impact your wife in an unbelievable way, but the consequences extend far beyond even her. Loving your wife with sacrificial love will provide a living, breathing, walking example of Jesus's love to everybody around you.

Don't expect her to respect you if you aren't doing your part. Provide this sacrificial love, and nobody can help but to respect that. And... it wasn't a request, but a command.

Ephesians 5:33 ~"However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

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A Husband: The Little Things

2/4/2018

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This is not an obscure Bible verse that no one has heard. It was probably quoted at most of the weddings you've attended, maybe even your own. But I want to take this verse and look closely at it, because being able to fulfill it will allow you to become a more complete Christian husband.

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"
~Ephesians 5:25~

If I'm being honest, the first thing that came to my mind when I read this verse for, oh I don't know, the first one hundred times, was how it was my duty to die for my wife. I could always think of situations that might happen one day that would require me to jump in front of a bullet to save her life by sacrificing my own. Other husbands are probably not much different than me about this. They would also be willing to die for their wives.

But, why?

Simple. Because all of our families, friends, church members, co-workers, and possibly our city would know or hear about what we did. The story of the man who loved his wife so much that he laid down his life for her would become a thing of legend. That husband would instantly go to celebrity status or, at the very least, be a hero to all who heard.

“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much..."
~Luke 16:10~

You see, dying for somebody else is a very big thing, and a lot of the time the big things are much easier to gather your resolve and do. The little tedious things that come and go every day are quite a difference story.

Now don't get me wrong, I still would die for my wife if I needed to or could, but I no longer believe dying is the extent of "giving myself up" for my wife.

"28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies... 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church"
~Ephesians 5:29~

As a husband, claiming to be a follower of Christ, do you love your wife enough to give up the small things for her? Ephesians 5:25 says to follow Jesus's example and give yourself up for her. Well, Jesus did much more for his followers than die for them. He gave up some very big things like Heaven and the presence of God the Father to come live among us. He gave up His omnipotence to become a little baby, for us. But, He also gave up the completeness He had in Heaven in order to experience hunger, thirst, exhaustion, and temptation. He spent his time on earth teaching people, and caring for them and their needs on a daily basis.

By His example we need to do the same for our wives. Give up ourselves for her to come closer to Jesus. That may mean give up our time, which we hold so valuable, for her to go to Bible study or a woman's night out. Maybe our money so she can attend a retreat or conference. Maybe sacrificing watching the game coming on to focus on her and prove how important she is. Although these little things won't matter to the rest of the world, doing them will mean the world to our wives...

and be witnessed by our children.

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All Things Work together for good???

1/28/2018

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I am fully aware that people don't want to hear this, but here it comes anyway. Bad things are going to happen to you. Yes, even after you become a Christian, things that hurt and things you don't want are going to occur in your life. With this knowledge, as believers and followers of Jesus Christ, we should make the conscious decision and effort to continue doing good even while we go through suffering.

"For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil." ~ 1 Peter 3:17

Please don't misunderstand. Suffering is NOT a goal of mine. I would be 100% okay without enduring any form of suffering at any point in my life, but I want to be in God's will more than I want to be okay.

If being in God's will requires me to experience some pain, then that is exactly where I want to be.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." ~ Romans 8:28

One reason that I'm both willing and able to accept my pain/suffering is because of God's promise in this verse. This verse is also one of the most misused verses in the Bible.

I have heard people explain through this verse by saying how lovely, wonderful, and peaceful Christians' lives are after becoming and follower. You don't have to look very far to find fellow Christians who are experiencing some brutal situations.

This verse is by no means promising believers an easy, pain free life.

Think of it like this:

God is the source of ALL good things. The problem is we tend to be both short and near sighted. We want good things to happen to us right here and right now. But, please consider God. He has no beginning nor end. Which means he is playing short term, mid-range, and the long term.

So if something comes at me, and it seems absolutely horrible and bad, I still believe that God is working it together for His ultimate good. This may not ben seen or felt immediately, and I will have to go through a struggle and pain. However, He has promised in Romans 8:28 these struggles, that seem so big to me, are small to Him and are working together in His master plan for good. And, if it is good for God, I can trust it is good for me.

For God to be willing to include me any part of His work is astonishing. If being in God's will means I need to suffer, then so be it. Because I know He will use my pain for His good and His glory.

"...Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?" ~ Job 2:10

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For starters: I am nothing special, I love Jesus and He is my Lord. I am the husband of a godly woman. She is working with me to raise a godly child. I am a teacher. I love to read and write.

JOB 2:10 "... SHALL WE ACCEPT THE GOOD FROM GOD AND NOT THE BAD?"
ONE family TRYING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE.

2 reasons why loving my wife matters

1. your friends will notice

2. Your Children will notice

A Husband: The Little Things

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"
~Ephesians 5:25~

“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much..."
~Luke 16:10~

"28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies... 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church"
~Ephesians 5:29~

All Things Work together for good???

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JOB 2:10 "... SHALL WE ACCEPT THE GOOD FROM GOD AND NOT THE BAD?"​ONE family TRYING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE.

1. your friends will notice

2. Your Children will notice

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"~Ephesians 5:25~

“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much..."~Luke 16:10~

"28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies... 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church"~Ephesians 5:29~

Author

Archives

Categories

JOB 2:10 "... SHALL WE ACCEPT THE GOOD FROM GOD AND NOT THE BAD?"
ONE family TRYING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE.

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"
~Ephesians 5:25~

“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much..."
~Luke 16:10~

"28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies... 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church"
~Ephesians 5:29~