I am fully aware that people don't want to hear this, but here it comes anyway. Bad things are going to happen to you. Yes, even after you become a Christian, things that hurt and things you don't want are going to occur in your life. With this knowledge, as believers and followers of Jesus Christ, we should make the conscious decision and effort to continue doing good even while we go through suffering.
"For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil." ~ 1 Peter 3:17
Please don't misunderstand. Suffering is NOT a goal of mine. I would be 100% okay without enduring any form of suffering at any point in my life, but I want to be in God's will more than I want to be okay.
If being in God's will requires me to experience some pain, then that is exactly where I want to be.
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." ~ Romans 8:28
One reason that I'm both willing and able to accept my pain/suffering is because of God's promise in this verse. This verse is also one of the most misused verses in the Bible.
I have heard people explain through this verse by saying how lovely, wonderful, and peaceful Christians' lives are after becoming and follower. You don't have to look very far to find fellow Christians who are experiencing some brutal situations.
This verse is by no means promising believers an easy, pain free life.
Think of it like this:
God is the source of ALL good things. The problem is we tend to be both short and near sighted. We want good things to happen to us right here and right now. But, please consider God. He has no beginning nor end. Which means he is playing short term, mid-range, and the long term.
So if something comes at me, and it seems absolutely horrible and bad, I still believe that God is working it together for His ultimate good. This may not ben seen or felt immediately, and I will have to go through a struggle and pain. However, He has promised in Romans 8:28 these struggles, that seem so big to me, are small to Him and are working together in His master plan for good. And, if it is good for God, I can trust it is good for me.
For God to be willing to include me any part of His work is astonishing. If being in God's will means I need to suffer, then so be it. Because I know He will use my pain for His good and His glory.
"...Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?" ~ Job 2:10
I’m a new dad. I would also consider myself a new husband. The time that’s passed is not important to my self-classification. I’m new because I still haven’t gotten the hang of either. Both have been a continuous balancing act.
Most of this stems from my years of being single and having nobody to worry about. While single I would read my Bible, a lot. I read all kinds of books from extremely smart, Christian men and I tried to pack in as much as I could. I liked to help others. Actually I loved to help others. Looking back on it from my current perspective, I very well might have had a hero complex.
Then I got married. No big deal, right? Just keep on doing what I’ve been doing and add the wife in there…
Now before you think too highly of me. I was not smart enough to figure out that I was doing this whole marriage thing wrong until much later. See, for me it was pretty simple, get married and she would tag along with everything I had going already. But that was not the case. Sure, I heard people all the time saying, “As the husband you are responsible for the spiritual growth of your family.” It was not as though I didn’t know this. I just didn’t know how to apply that. Beyond that, I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t being the spiritual leader of my house. I was just doing things the same way I always had.
I had it wrong. Now, I still don’t have it all worked out. So over the next few weeks, months, and maybe years I hope to dig into God’s Word, discover what He said about being a godly husband and father, and maybe find some good practices I can share with you. It's better late than never.
Step 1: Accept The Role.
“For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.”
Husband: Be the head of your house. We can’t be passive and give our job and responsibility away because it would easier or for any other reason. It’s ours. And, don’t read this verse to go show your wife that the Bible says, “I’m the boss.” Instead, do a self check-up. Ask yourself this question, “am I leading like Christ?”
1 Timothy 3:4-5
“He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, 5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?”
Father: If we can’t manage our own house, why would we attempt to manage anybody else’s? Before we look to expand our influence into other people’s lives, we MUST expand our influence over our family, and take the calling seriously.
For starters: I am nothing special, I love Jesus and He is my Lord. I am the husband of a godly woman. She is working with me to raise a godly child. I am a teacher. I love to read and write.